Is Demand Avoidance a Symptom of Autism?

Demand avoidance is a natural part of human behaviour—we all avoid certain demands from time to time, whether due to stress, fatigue, or personal preference. However, for individuals with autism, this behaviour can present itself in more persistent and intense ways, which could be referred to as Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA).

Given the potential for more persistent and intense demand avoidance in individuals with autism, recognising signs of demand avoidance in children with autism is essential. Early identification allows caregivers and educators to implement the right strategies and interventions, helping to reduce its impact and support the child’s overall well-being and long-term development.

Understanding What Is Pathological Demand Avoidance

Pathological Demand Avoidance was first identified in the 1980s by Professor Elizabeth Newson, who described it as a pervasive developmental disorder. While some organisations recognise PDA as a profile within the autism spectrum, it still lacks formal recognition as a distinct diagnostic category.

The term “pathological” is used when this avoidance becomes extreme and starts to interfere with the child’s functioning at home, school, or in other everyday situations.

This resistance, as Dr. Cynthia Martin notes, is sometimes misinterpreted as deliberate defiance. However, it’s more seen as a response to anxiety and a need for control, where any external demand, especially when perceived as coming from someone else, creates significant internal discomfort. This can, in turn, trigger the avoidant behaviour.

Why Does Demand Avoidance Occur?

As mentioned previously, children with autism may present these behaviours because of situations that cause anxiety, and they will need a sense of control. But in some cases, they can also be from sensory overload, disruptions to routines, or transitions between activities. They may also show signs of PDA when they find tasks or events uninteresting or they think have no meaning.

What Are Demand Avoidant Behaviours in Autism?

Children and young people with a PDA profile may exhibit a variety of behaviours when faced with demands. These can include delaying tactics, distraction, shouting, dropping to the ground, claiming that parts of their body aren’t working, negotiating, attempting to escape, or even displaying challenging or risky behaviours.

Some commonly observed traits in individuals with PDA include:

• A strong resistance to or avoidance of everyday demands
• The use of socially strategic behaviours to avoid tasks
• Being outwardly sociable but showing limited depth in social understanding
• Experiencing frequent and intense mood swings
• Feeling more at ease in imaginative or roleplay scenarios
• Engaging in obsessive behaviours often centred around people or specific social situations

Do PDA Kids Have Empathy?

Although kids with PDA may appear articulate and socially confident, they often face underlying challenges with genuine social understanding and empathy. Their communication style can seem advanced, but it may not always reflect a true grasp of others’ emotions, intentions, or perspectives, especially in emotionally nuanced or complex social situations.

Pay close attention to how the child interacts during moments that require empathy or emotional awareness, such as family discussions or peer conflicts. If their responses seem shallow, misaligned, or inconsistent despite otherwise strong verbal or social abilities, it could be indicative of a PDA profile.

The Far-Reaching Effects of PDA

Living with PDA can significantly impact day-to-day functioning not only for the individual but for families, educators, and support teams as well.

How Demand Avoidance Can Impact Children with Autism

• The child may have difficulty settling into bedtime routines due to the perception of it being a “demand.”
• Anxiety is frequently triggered by routine expectations or transitions.
• Basic hygiene or nutrition routines may be avoided.
• It could cause sudden meltdowns or shutdowns in response to perceived pressure.
• The child may have trouble forming and maintaining friendships.
• Some individuals become unable to attend school or hold a job due to the stress of daily demands.

How It Affects Parents and Caregivers

• Watching a child or loved one experience distress can cause an emotional strain on parents and guardians.
• There is often limited recognition of PDA in diagnostic or educational frameworks in Singapore.
• It can leave parents and guardians frustrated how it can be difficult to access appropriate support in areas, such as diagnosis, education, mental health, and social care.

Strategies for Supporting Kids with PDA

It’s important to know that children experiencing persistent demand avoidance should be supported based on their specific needs and strengths.

It suggests that understanding and accepting the demand for avoidant behaviour is critical to accessing the right support. While there is limited research on the appropriate support strategies, some experts suggest the following approaches:

Focus on Adaptive Skills

Experts suggest that supporting children with autism and PDA should centre around helping them build everyday skills that enable greater independence and a better quality of life.

The Challenge

A key characteristic of many autistic children, including those with PDA traits, is a disconnect between their knowledge and their actions. For instance, they may fully understand how to brush their teeth or get dressed yet avoid these tasks when prompted.

This isn’t necessarily defiance or laziness; it often stems from anxiety, a need for control, or overwhelming internal discomfort when demands are placed on them. Recognising this gap is the first step in creating strategies that support their independence.

How to Promote Adaptive Skills

Rather than using traditional behavioural approaches that often rely on reinforcing compliance through reward and consequences, focus on what motivates them and how they perceive control in a situation.

For example, rather than rigidly pushing for compliance, caregivers and educators can provide choices where possible. They can also frame requests in a collaborative or playful language or involve them in the planning and decision-making.

Additionally, instead of focusing on what a child is not doing, concentrate on what they can do and how they prefer to learn. Celebrate small successes and find creative ways to weave adaptive skills into their natural interests or strengths.

For example, if a child enjoys pretend play, you might roleplay scenarios like getting ready for school or packing a bag for an outing. This builds comfort with real-life tasks in a way that feels engaging and less threatening.

Building Flexibility

Another approach to supporting children with demand avoidance is helping them understand the benefits of being flexible. This isn’t just about compliance; it’s about empowering children to see that adapting their approach can lead to more positive outcomes. When children realise they can still get what they want or something close to what they want by being open to alternatives, they are more willing to engage. For example, allowing extra time for preferred activities if they complete a task flexibly.

It’s also important to support a positive experience in flexibility by ensuring that their ideas and voices are acknowledged. Experts note that children make more lasting progress when they feel heard and included in decision-making. This contrasts with traditional reward-and-consequence models, which may show short-term gains but often lose effectiveness over time. For example, instead of saying, “Do this now,” caregivers and educators can say, “How would you like to get this done?” or “What do you think we should do if Plan A doesn’t work?”

This collaborative, respectful approach reduces anxiety and builds trust, which are key to helping the child feel safe enough to adapt.

Early Intervention and Support in Singapore

If you’re in Singapore and notice signs of PDA in your child with autism, seeking early intervention can be beneficial. With a customised early intervention programme in Singapore, professionals can help address these needs in a supportive and developmentally appropriate way. It could also potentially help the child build adaptive skills and emotional resilience from a young age.

Exploring Mates offers a range of early intervention services designed specifically for children on the autism spectrum. These include autism counselling, school readiness programmes, and speech therapy—all of which are personalised based on each child’s unique strengths and challenges.

By working closely with professionals in familiar environments, children could potentially engage in learning, communication, and social development at a pace that respects their individuality. For more on autism in children, check out our guide on the early signs of autism.